Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
