Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
