I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
