whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think I am morally bankrupt
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize