Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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