the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
