Is it normal to miss your booty call?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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