i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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