Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Shame - the story of my life.
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