Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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