Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
