I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
