Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
