hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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