I'm really into asian looking animals
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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