if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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