there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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