All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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