I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
