someone get that fucking seahorse.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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