when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this beer tastes like vomit already
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
