why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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