You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
