And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize