Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
