Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I believe in your delicious
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
