The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
