Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
