Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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