Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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