I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize