If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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