I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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