This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
