SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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