Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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