Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
