I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
