Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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