The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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