Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
