Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
