We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
