Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize