I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize