Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
