if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
