there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
