We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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