Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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