Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
