You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
