Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
