I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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