remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
